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December 4, 2021

Tomato and sheep – new national symbols

In the whole identity rush, for and against the old or the modern, for and against globalisation and the uniformization of values, tradition and morals that we are witnessing in Romania and are a party to, a veritable popular revolution is in full swing, initiated and conscientiously kept alive by the new father of the nation, Liviu Dragnea.

Who could say in Romania there are no longer traditions and people who would rekindle and honour ancestral values?

Wearing the traditional folk costume from the regions of Teleorman, inherited from his great-grandfather, proud as the village’s richest and most-desirable young man who shows up for the Sunday dance, Mr Dragnea seems to perfectly embody the image of Ion the son of Glanetasul, [Romanian writer] Rebreanu’s genuine Romanian peasant, and of Lica Samadu, [Romanian writer] Slavici’s hajduk.

Under the gaze – brimming with admiration and fascination – of reporters and party colleagues who follow him like loyal dogs everywhere, Mr Dragnea offers us with great generosity and an unmistakable seductive smile a morsel of Romanian tradition and a new episode in the Dragnea Folk Epic.

The homespun peasant trousers, the shirt and the belt matching in such an inspired manner a pair of black contemporary shoes (I don’t know if the same shoes damaged during another working visit and rapidly fixed by the village craftsmen) were joined, almost immediately, by a huge tomato that Mr Dragnea, on National Tomato Day, comradely and greedily picked, biting it with appetite, under the adulatory and ecstatic gaze of the entire staff that surrounded him, like in a commercial for tomato sauce, analysing with a sense of responsibility, expert taste buds and the look of a master who fattens his cattle and the fruit of his estate with the tomato that has become, alongside the unmistakable roses, one of the Social Democrat national symbols.

And it concerned a working visit, roses and the cult of personality in Olt County too. That of hajduk minister Lia Olguta Vasilescu who, in an upsurge of maximum patriotism and devoted gratefulness, wanted to welcome her party boss and the absolute master of the hearts and minds of female PSD members with a huge bouquet of roses that the father of the motherland received with his eternal, cute, shy but extremely politically virile smile.

Mr Dragnea himself has become a national symbol of ancestral traditions lifted to the rank of law and political dignity and a big and exceptional expert in all that Romania has inherited over the centuries in this regard.

We all wonder (obviously positively, with maximum respect and unlimited admiration) at the complexity of this man who, by himself, manages not only to prove astounding ubiquity, carrying on his shoulders the burden of our country and of us all, but also to enlighten us and to find solutions to everything. From tradition, economy and pressing state affairs to the way we can best use various raw materials in situations as varied as possible.

That is why the Dragnea Government is working diligently and efficiently – I don’t know whether with heart and soul – on national research projects in vast domains, including Agriculture. An exemplary domain directed and verbalised by Agriculture Minister Daea, who, in more than 4 decades of communist-scientific struggle, studied and investigated Romanian agriculture in detail, specialising on the issue of the Sheep and its traditional derivatives. Such as… wool…

So, in the same fascinating and good spirit of preserving and promoting traditional power along party and hereditary line, Mr Dragnea managed, through a great and amazing miracle that seems to be in his nature, to solve yet another one of the economic urgencies that Romania has been facing for so long… Replacing the outdated glass wool used in construction and known as a material used for insulation, with the marvellous and fantastic sheep’s wool! An unequalled, polyvalent and multifunctional product whose unique qualities were scientifically and politically discovered by the same brilliant minister Daea.

Thus, we could hear Mr Dragnea engaging in an ample and fascinating dithyramb on the technique of using sheep’s wool in constructions, pointing out expertly (how else?) the huge benefits and the fantastic cost reduction (only one leu per kg) that this new discovery and use of the woolly material will bring for the Romanian economy and the country’s budget. A dithyramb just as passionately presented and mindboggling like the others concerning the wonderful economic and fiscal ideas included in the fundamental book called the Governing Platform.

And with this modern approach to the issue of insulation, in Romania there will certainly and imperiously appear – apart from thirty-five thousand specialists on the issue of household taxation – another generation of experts and several other thousand exceptionally-paid jobs – the Body for Moth Control. Because, as Minister Daea had the goodwill and infinite wisdom to inform us, as known, the natural enemy of sheep’s wool is… the moth!

“Wool has only one enemy. You know which one? The moth, and it works only in dry conditions!”

Obviously, one should not ignore the other extremely practical and necessary aspect that sheep’s wool has shown in the scientific discoveries of Mr Dragnea’s honoured minister! Namely, the 12 million blankets that would warm the bodies of millions of happy Romanians, making their lives more comfortable and advantageous.

“Well, isn’t it a pity?! Wool is used in road paving too! I’m giving you another example: there are 12 million sheep; a sheep has three kilograms, yes? How much would a blanket weigh? Three kilograms! There would be 12 million blankets for the poor in Romania!”

We would be completely unfair and totally ungrateful if we were not to mention here the concern that Mr Dragnea shows – via his devoted and efficient working team – for our health. Concern reflected through generous excise taxes on soda and chocolate. We will live long, live well and we will be able to enjoy, for decades, the friendly regime and the new era we have entered. What else could we desire?

And these are just some of the modest examples of the wonderful outpouring of wisdom, prosperity and abundance that the unequalled Mr Dragnea, world-class expert in everything and anything, ceaselessly pours into national welfare and into the pockets of the Romanian state.

One can add to them a plethora of other initiatives and fantastic actions of the Dragnea group, which holds various levels and positions of power destined only for the most deserving of the party comrades that share the same ideal, such as Mayor Gabriela Pandele Firea. Initiatives and actions cultivated with great love and parental interest for Romanians and the country.

Here we list the kissing of relics, icons and miraculous belts, the early-morning singing of Psalms through loud speakers posted on each street corner in cities such as the lucky Voluntari, strategies of catching the biggest fish in the motherland’s lakes and rivers, Sundays of rare and unique civic beauty during which the capital’s large boulevards are used by multicolour packs of marathon runners, fabulous prizes for the most beautiful balcony, the most beautiful city entrance point, the street with the most potholes and the comrades with the most long-reaching and swiftest hands etc. etc. etc.

This is how Romania is becoming one of the few and last-standing Edenic bastions of a Europe that is at the brink of identity decline. A small country but with a great heart and a heroic leader! A country that managed in just 28 years the fantastic miracle of going back in time to that unforgettable era – the Golden Era of Nicolae Ceausescu’s Romania.

We know history is cyclical. What we didn’t know or maybe weren’t convinced about is that not only history is cyclical but also its characters. Even though they have different names, an invisible thread of their great spirit links them and makes them mingle at one point. And those who keep saying time travel is impossible should come to Romania, the country of all possibilities, the garden of the Mother of Good and the bucolic framework for leaders wearing traditional shirts and vests who lovingly and parentally caress our heads while with the other hand…


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